Back on Track

Wow. I apparently cannot get into the swing of blogging. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to find the time to post. I’ve got to work on that.

I don’t have much to report. The past few weeks have not been stellar. One week I ate well, but didn’t get all of my planned workouts in. Another week I completed all of my workouts, but did not eat cleanly. And then the hubby tried to use the Zero Scale to check his weight, not knowing that it was tracking my weight, and everything got thrown out of whack. So, no weigh-ins recently. I reset the scale yesterday and will weigh in next weekend.

I had some emotional setbacks recently which really affected my desire to workout and eat right. It became so clear to me that my physical and emotional health are strongly connected with each other, and so I need to pay attention to both sides of things. The exercising and eating well are only going to get me so far. I need to work on silencing the inner critic. I need to find ways to truly love myself no matter what. And I need to curb the anxiety that takes over every few weeks for a night or two. I never really noticed how often these moods happen until I really began sharing my life and my space with my husband. In the past I’d just lie in bed and cry for however long it took to feel better. Sometimes it took longer than others, but never more than a day or two. Having someone around to witness my plummet is really difficult. It’s hard on me and it’s hard on him, especially when I’m at my worst and lash out at him for nothing. The crazy part is, it’s so much better than it used to be. I used to have days like this a few times a week, now it’s only a few times a month. Still, it’s obviously something I need to dig deeper into and work on healing. It can only make everything in my life so much better.

This week is about determination. It’s about really defining my goals and coming up with plans to reach them. I’ve begun some self-healing work using some books and some blogs (more on those later). I’ve returned to journaling to really look at what is going on with me emotionally since I don’t think I’m ready to share quiet so much here. Finally, I have my meals and my workouts all planned out for the week. I am determined to stay on track and really the way I see myself. It’s going to be quite a long journey, I think, but there’s no other way to go.


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