Yesterday was a struggle. All. Day. Long. It was one of those days where I clearly would have been better off pulling the blankets over my head and shutting out the world.
I usually have good days at work, but when they’re bad they’re really bad. I spent the afternoon being annoyed by and frustrated with countless people. I stewed about it all during my 25 minute subway ride home and kept stewing during the 15 minute walk from the subway to my apartment. Then I vented to my husband for approximately 45 more minutes before getting myself to the gym for the 25 minute run planned for the evening.
The gym was crowded. I was tired, annoyed, and distracted. I began my run at a slightly faster pace and just couldn’t relax into it. Lately I’ve been hitting that sweet spot where everything just feels right by about minute 7 or 8. Last night, that moment never ever came. I slowed my pace and even lowered the incline, but I just couldn’t get into it. I ended up walking for 90 seconds twice and then another minute near the end. Before I hit the halfway mark I seriously considered giving up and trying again another day, but I’m glad I stuck with it. Still, I was so disappointed when I finished. What was supposed to be 25 minutes of continuous running ended up being 21 minutes of running with three short walking breaks.
I lamented my “failure” to my husband when I got home and he just shook his head and laughed at me. He reminded me that everyone has good runs and bad runs, and that I was only a few minutes short of my goal. I knew he was right, but it took me a few hours to really let it go. It’s really annoying when that perfectionist in me rears her overly-critical head, but I can’t help it sometimes. If I’m not good at something after a few tries I usually quit. This was the first run I really struggled with, but I am not quitting this time. I enjoy it too much and I could use the “bad” runs as opportunities to silence my perfectionist inner-critic.
Tomorrow night is my week 7, day 2 run. It’s the same as yesterday’s – 25 minutes. I figure if I struggle again tomorrow night and on day 3, I’ll repeat week 7 until it feels good. Otherwise, I’ll move ahead into week 8 and see how it goes.